A small bouquet of flowers…

Proverb

Definition: a short, meaningful, phrase that states a general truth or piece of advice.

Tis better to buy a small bouquet

And give to your friend this very day,

Than a bushel of roses white and red

To lay on his coffin after he's dead.

-An Irish Proverb

I’m sure this proverb can be interpreted in many ways.

How I see it, is you should tell and show people how you feel now, in the moment, when you can, rather than waiting for the perfect moment, because then it may be too late.

It is better to send your friend a small note right now, telling them how much they mean to you, even if you feel like it is insufficient or silly timing; rather than to wait too long, and you have all of these beautiful memories and poetic sentiments to share, but they are not here to hear it.

I’ll break this down more:

Let’s say you know someone in your life, and you think they will be there for a long time. So you don’t ask them the questions you want to ask them, and you don’t tell them how you really feel because you assume there will be multiple opportunities and multiple milestones that you will share with them. Well, each time you see them, you still don’t say or ask anything, because there is always another (better) opportunity, right? Then, one day, they die. Or they leave you in some other way where you do not have the same relationship as before. And you look back, and think, well I could have asked them those questions or told them how I felt all those times. Then you start to feel regret, and think, this so stupid - I am so stupid. I could have just said something any number of those times, but I chose to just exist with them in the moment. And now I have lost my opportunity.

Well, you lost that opportunity. 

But you don’t have to lose the rest of them. Remember this.

If you love a person, if you truly care on any level; if you think they are smart, funny, or kind, or they inspired or helped you in any way - just tell them. Say it now. Otherwise you may not get the opportunity later.

I think we all have hesitations in telling people how we feel in the moment, like - well, this is awkward, I don’t just want to say my feelings out of the blue. 

Another thing is, sometimes you do tell someone how you feel, and they don’t appreciate it. Or they just sit there blankly. They don’t give you any reaction or they don’t give you the reaction you were hoping for. Well, that can be disappointing for sure. 

But, it’s better to say, because then later you won’t have to wonder or feel regret. And, sometimes people receive information and don’t process it until much later.

Also, think about whenever (if they have) someone has told you how much you meant to them. Didn’t that make you feel good? Don’t you carry that with you inside of your heart? And maybe you were caught off guard or feeling modest at the time, and you didn’t know how to reply, so you sat there in silence or you brushed off someone’s genuine words. But it still meant something to you. 

So, the next time you are questioning all these things, the next time you feel awkward or shy, or the next time you think you have more time or opportunities to say something - just put that all away and say it now.

You have nothing to lose, except a wasted opportunity to put more genuine goodness and honesty into the world.

Your friend (and you) would rather have a small bouquet of flowers that they can carry with them today; than a field of flowers that they will never see.

Rebecca Meskill